10 Interesting Things About Shakespeare

1. No one knows Anything about His Personal Life

Shakespeare is and was this super-duper famous dude, so we definitely know everything about him right? Yeah, turns out we don't know anything about him. We know when a William Shakespeare was baptized, but can't even guarantee it's the same William Shakespeare. Pretty much everything we know about him is based on the smallest amounts of evidence.

2. He and His Team Tore Down and Moved Their Entire Theater

There were three Globe theaters total before the Puritans made life awful and ended it. Due to a dispute between the builder of the first one and its landlord, Shakespeare and company had to tear down and relocate the entire structure while the landlord was away for Christmas.

3. We probably Spell Shakespeare's Name Wrong

Shakespeare's signatures never had the exact spelling that we think of nowadays, and other people referred to him with over eighty different similar names. People currently believe parts of it mean "brandish" and "spear" and refer to someone who is very confrontational.

4.  Shakespeare Wrote his Own Epigraph

Shakespeare is buried in the Holy Trinity Church in Stratford, his hometown, and he left an epigraph that cursed anyone messing with his bones. Surprisingly, it's worked so far, and no one has disturbed it. Here's the epigraph.

5. Shakespeare was a Good Businessman

Unsurprisingly, Shakespeare made some serious moo-lah from his plays. Surprisingly, he didn't blow all of it. He apparently owned a large amount of property, and even formed a joint-stock company with his actors so that he would make more money from his plays.

6. Shakespeare Invented Swag(ger)

Hate everything modern? Yeah, you can blame swag on Shakespeare. The first time swagger appeared was in Henry V, and it became shorter with time.

7. Shakespeare is Technically Responsible for an Airplane Crash

A long time ago, a Shakespeare fanatic named Eugene Scheffelin brought every bird that happened to  in Shakespeare's plays to Central Park, and when a plane tried to take off, it flew into a cloud of them and crashed. So it's at least partially attributable to Shakespeare.

8. Shakespeare's Wife was Pregnant When he Married Her

Anne Hathaway, Shakespeare's wife, was in a definite hurry to get married, as she was 3 months into her preganancy when the wedding happened. Shakespeare had to be scandalous in every way didn't he?

9. Shakespeare was Nearly Arrested

Even though his plays probably faced some legal issues occasionally, Shakespeare got in trouble for more than that. He apparently traded in wool and, even though he wrote The Merchant of Venice, he also lent out money illegally.

10. One of his Relatives was Executed

One of Shakespeare's relatives, William Arden, was arrested for plotting against the queen, thrown in the Tower of London for a while, then executed. Apparently scandal runs in his blood.

Biggest Problems with English Classes

1. Outdated Works

     A specific work I can remember from English class is "Success is Counted Sweetest" by Emily Dickinson. Long story short, the meaning is that people who don't have certain things know the things better than those who have them. Meanwhile, the song "Let Her Go" by Passenger expresses the exact same concept through a medium that teenagers, the people required to take the classes, actually care about and would listen to. Sure, in many cases, there aren't many options to express certain points, but why is it that we haven't looked at a single thing written within the last forty years? People haven't stopped making art or writing books, so why have the programs stopped being updated with the times?

2. Lacking Types of Works

Actually, we haven't ever gone over any songs in English class. It's not like they're written in French or Chinese, and a lot of the time they have some interesting points. Admittedly, I am a fan of 80's music, so my first specific thought for this was "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon. He made the song in direct violation of the UN's attempts to prevent the spread of culture from South Africa during Apartheid, and the song very clearly has meaning. A newer example, "Little Talks" (one of those "know it when you hear it" songs) might or might not tell the story of a woman slowly losing her memories. The exact notes of a song don't usually need looked at to understand its meaning. I won't go into detail on TV shows or movies, but some things are better expressed in these mediums. A character's facial expression is worth a thousand words describing how they feel. 

3. Teaching That Compromise is Bad

Students usually think mock trials and debates are the most fun (or at least interesting) parts of class, but even these hold some massive issues. These teach students that the way to figure out the best solution to a problem is not by calm compromise, but by using various methods of propaganda and loud voices to "prove" that their point is correct. This is what congressmen do right now, and it obviously does not work. At all. Being the more persuasive speaker shouldn't matter, working out problems in a way that actually works should. Even in essays, students frequently have to pick one side of an argument and ignore the negatives of that side instead of trying to fix them. 

4. Massive Differences Between Teaching Levels

Though this may only occur at some schools, it remains a massive issue (and I've accepted that this blog likely won't become massively famous in the future). As someone who has tutored various people in various classes, I feel justified in saying that the difference between honors and other levels of English classes seems massive compared to other classes. Where the difference between my current math class and the Level II classes is around a month's worth of materials, and history classes simply seem less in-depth at lower levels, proofreading essays for lower levels feels like I'm looking at essays from people who skipped entire years of school (I've read essays from younger honors students and from fairly dedicated level two students). The worst part is that even considering this, guidance doesn't seem to have anyone looking for tutors in English. In addition, I've never seen any Level II students win any essay competitions, in all seven years I've known about them (though again, ). The readings different levels do vary massively; the level two class reads books in ninth grade that honors students don't read until much later, and vice versa. This likely has some explanation, but if so no one has ever told me what it is.

    

Fictional Characters I Relate To

Two words: Awkward. Nerds. Even if it's gradually changing, that was my personality for a long time, so those are the characters in anything that I relate to. The biggest ones are probably Dipper Pines (from Gravity Falls) and Doctor Doom (He's a different type of awkward). So, let's go over why.

Dipper

If you have seen the show, you probably think I'd go with Mabel (she wears cat t-shirts), but I think Dipper is more fitting. For those of you who haven't seen the show, Dipper is pretty much made to be relatable to nerds. He's a twelve year old with a crush on a fifteen year old, a very smart kid everyone ignores because he always sounds crazy/stupid, and he constantly tries to fit in with a group of cool kids. Like I said, he's written to be relatable, and his awkwardness around girls specifically is almost a perfect match.

Dr. Doom

No, I don't want to conquer the world, and no I don't mean him in any of the awful movies. In the comics (the ultimate nerd phrase amirite?), Doom is a super genius who has time and dimension travelled to literally every single possible timeline with human life. What he saw? There is no version of earth that is happy unless he is the absolute ruler. That said, he really doesn't have to be such a jerk about it. Anyone who's ever worked with me on anything ever will likely support that I don't trust anyone else to do any work, but to be fair I don't kill anyone who doesn't agree with me, and I can't time travel. He's still the most relatable character in any comic universe I've come across, because frankly in such a position I'd likely act the same way.       

Apple vs Windows/Android

     Apple sucks. Before anyone can get their pitchforks sharpened, I mean the company because everything they do is overpriced. That said, even I have to admit that they make some good stuff. But, when is that stuff actually useful? Come to think of it, when is Windows stuff useful? Or Android?

What? You don't care? Too bad, I have due dates.

Computers

Windows - Even if you love Apple, odds are you have a Windows computer somewhere in your house. Windows computers offer the biggest variety of software, have the most customizability, and, most importantly, can play video games. Windows desktop systems (unlike Apple and the extremely few that exist featuring Android) are (usually) fully upgradeable and customizable when hardware needs reworked. Windows computers also always have the best hardware available, because as soon as something is released it can be shoved into a preexisting computer. Support is usually pretty good, with DIY guides for basically whatever you want if the actual support is terrible.

Apple - Somehow or another, Apple makes the best equipment for creating and editing videos and photos even though all of its computers have absolutely shameful components. So if you're using it for that, good job. However. Other than a few minor repairs, fixing something wrong with a computer by Apple is either impossible, or actually is impossible. In addition, for anything other than video creation (which apparently involves magic), Apple computers are behind Windows computers. Mac Pros, for example, still use a processor type from a few years ago, even with the pretty major advancements made in that time.

Android - For now, these really aren't that common and don't actually really have any audience that isn't covered by the other two. So I'll go over Linux instead! It's practically the same thing anyway. Linux is actually a really, really no-frills system. Like, if every operating system was a pizza, Apple would be a non-customizable special with gold flakes, Windows would be a standard anything you want, and Linux would be a handful of tomatoes, some wheat, and a pig to cut into pepperoni. It's fairly complicated, but believe it or not, Apple's operating system is built off of this. For people who aren't even nerdier than I am, Ubuntu is one of the more popular free linux-based operating systems, and, well, it works.

Phones

Windows - No.

Okay fine. Windows phones are a thing that exist because Microsoft wanted money basically, and currently none of them are recommendable to anyone. The only possible benefit is that they can connect more thoroughly with other Windows things, but even that isn't going very well.

Apple - Once again, amazing low-spec devices. This time around though, they actually get the job done. Other than terrible battery life and an expectably stupid price, they match pretty much every other smart phone in every way. They don't have certain interesting options (like NFC and other various doo-hickeys), but they can make and take calls. Also, it was recently found out that Apple devices are as a whole way more secure than Androids, most manufacturers stop putting out updates for their Android devices relatively quickly which makes them vulnerable to hacking. However, if you don't store your credit information on your phone ,that really isn't a big issue at all.

Android - These are almost literally infinitely customizable software-wise. If it's not available on your device, you can hack it to look like another one. You can also force updates, and do pretty much anything else you want. With all the models out there, it's also pretty likely you'll find one with a feature set perfect for you.

Tablets

Anroid and Apple are pretty much the same as their phones on these, Apple has three main options with a few generations for each, there are a bunch of different Android options and they all have super customability.

Windows - The Surface series is the windows attempt at a tablet, but there are a few two-in-ones that sort of fit here too. These are actually interesting, because they have desktop and laptop grade processers with the full power those offer (which is a lot.) That said, they're hit or miss. I've used a first gen Surface Pro, and it had basically every problem a computer could have. In addition, they lose the main reason to buy anything with Windows on it which is customability; they can't be upgraded at all period. The power is (like Apple desktops) useful for content creators though.

Wearables

Windows - It's a fitbit with a bigger screen and a smaller battery.

Apple - It's really expensive and doesn't have an always-on option, but it's useful for a smartwatch.

Android - Interesting thing here, the processor in (almost all, the original moto 360 is the only exception from an actual brand) of these is a snapdragon 600. In human terms: the same processor in a galaxy s4. Basically, they're as powerful as most android phones and only a little less powerful than even the newest ones. 

Pebble - Weeklong batter life, solid features, lacks power and looks bad, 

All right, that's a description of the major types of things you can use. If you read this far, congratulations, you deserve a cookie. Go ahead and grab one. 

The Things I most Look Forward to in Life

1. Travel - Assuming we don't nuke everywhere into a parking lot, I raelly want to explore the world for a few reasons. First and most important of those: imitation food SUCKS. Iwant to order from restaraunts that don't focus on making the food look authentic, just making food that tastes good. Also, other countries have some pretty views I guess.

2. Feeling Productive - I realize that I probably won't be the president or a super famous actor, but even moving boxes for a company feels more productive than doing school work, which we constantly chuck into recycle bins and trash cans everywhere. I accept the value of high school and know that it prepares me to be a productive member of society, but it still stinks really badly.

3. Choosing what my house looks like - We have a console TV. For those of you who don't know what that is, it qualifies as an antique and is a a giant wooden box with a screen. I want more of an open floor plan in my house whenever I get one, and my furniture wil be "function over form" for sure.

4. Not needing to ask everyone for eveything - This isn't like the "complete freedom" that teens stereotypically and idealistically want. I just want the capability to buy $5 things off of ebay without needing to wait a few hours for someone to get home, drive a few minutes to someone's house or a movie without needing to check six different schedules and calling four people a thousand times each to make sure I can.

5. Controlling My Own Diet - "Oh, you're too thin! SHOVE ALL OF THIS FOOD INTO YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW!!!" Believe it or not, I don't want a diet of only Reese's peanut butter cups and Hershey bars. I just want to not have people yell at me for not feeling like inhaling eight plates of pasta.     

Privacy and Freedom or Security?

     So recently, the website Reddit removed a very special clause from the so-called "transparency report" it published this year called a "Warrant Canary." I know, neither of those terms mean anything to most of you, and Reddit probably means very little to you as well. Here's a replacement phrase you might've heard of: Gag Order. That's basically what the removal says: the government took user's data from Reddit, and it isn't supposed to tell people.

     OK, so something happened with the government that Reddit isn't allowed to talk about, big deal right? Well, YES. IT IS A BIG DEAL. The removal of the clause is the ONLY legal way Reddit is allowed to tell people that the government asked for data about its users. Until recently, someone given a secret request by the data couldn't even tell their lawyers about it. If that sounds unconstitutional, that's because the entire CONCEPT is.

     Federal agencies (usually the NSA, which of course has never done anything sketchy. Ever.) is allowed to do this through the parts of George Bush's Patriot Act, which has received partial extensions overtime, though other parts have been removed because seriously even the government occasionally realizes something is stupid.

     So, here's the real point this issue brings up: terrorism obviously exists and terrorists obviously kill people, but at what point does protecting against it cause more harm than good? Every citizen of the United States has a certain set of unalienable rights....but apparently "unalienable" only applies when there aren't threats.

Fun fact: The British were fought by people who counted as "threats." "Threats" keep a government in check and make sure that it doesn't use its power in any unjust ways. Sure, this time the threat really does give the people of the nation a reason to fear, but what is the insurance worth?

"It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees" - Emiliano Zapato, Mexican Revolutionary